Miss Manners' Guide to a Surprisingly Dignified Wedding by Jacobina Martin

Author:Jacobina Martin
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company
Published: 2010-03-11T05:00:00+00:00

GENTLE READER:

Not in the slightest. In fact, the “traditional” dinner wedding is only of the last decade or two. Really traditional (and fashionable) weddings are held during the day with the sort of reception you describe. Please (gently) tell your future mother-in-law for us that you are offering a rare chance in life to have her cake and eat it too.

DEAR MISS MANNERS:

“Will you be one of my bridesmaids?” I dread that question! I’ve done it enough to know that I never want to do it again. I view marriage as a holy sacrament and think a line of bridesmaids in matching dresses is unnecessary. Besides, it’s expensive, you can never wear the dress again no matter what they say, the brides turn into “bridezillas,” the time commitment is a hassle when you’re a busy mother of young children as I am; and for some reason my friendship with the bride always seems to wane afterward, which then becomes a source of guilt when you think, “I was in her wedding? I should be a better friend.”

What is the best way to decline the offer but not hurt the friendship? I’m still recovering from the last wedding party I was in. The couple planned a semiprivate ceremony without the wedding party but had us spend $200 on a dress and stand in for pictures during a reception a few weeks later. My husband thought the whole deal was a farce. And once again, my friendship with the newlywed is showing signs of strain.

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